It's so hard to keep a positive outlook. I've felt that struggle for most of my life and with all the terrible things going on in the world currently, it's getting harder to be optomistic. I never, ever want to be a negative or pessimistic type of person. I want to be that person that always has a smile on her face, making someone's day a little brighter. I love people who do this for me, there are certain peoplpe in my life even ones I don't know that well that have such a warmth and kindness to them. This type of person can instantly make you feel a little brighter, it's contagious. Sometimes I am this person and sometimes I am not. I think the most important thing in life is kindess, at the end of my life I want to know that I was atleast a nice, decent person who thought of others. Think about how many times your day has been made by something so trival as a smile from a stranger.
Becoming a mother is a subject that has been on my mind more seriously as of late. Sometimes I have that attitude of "why would I bring a child into this awful world". That's when I stop and think about my own life. I am so incredibly happy to be alive and to have been given this life. I have had a lot of low points in my 27 years, but they have been a part of molding the person I am. My story is unique and it is my own, it's the one thing that truly belongs to just me. For every moment I haven't enjoyed there has been atleast a thousand more wonderful, joyous moments. Time with family, friends, falling in love, getting to watch my nieces grow up. My life has been pretty damn amazing when I really sit back and take a hard look. I want to experience motherhood, I know it will be the hardest job I ever have in life but I want it. I want to have the joys of being a parent and having that connection like no other. I want there to be a person out there that's half me and half Ryan. I want to guide someone through this life in hopes they will experience the joys I have.
Thinking about all of the people who have impacted my life, I can say I have met a lot of interesting people. From aquantances to co workers to friends who have come and gone. It's already been quite a ride for 27. It makes me excited to see what the future holds for me. I'm happy to say I'll never stop trying to be that optomist.
