2014 in Review

This was a big year, mostly because I got married. Also because I traveled to Miami for a wedding and Mexico for my honeymoon. Also, also we got more work done on our home, got all new flooring which made a huge difference. I am very proud of myself for running my second 10k and making great time! Ryan and I also joined a new gym but have been majorly slacking the last part of the year. We had been doing yoga together once a week and i'd love to start going again! Another fun postive thing that happened was Ryan's sister having her first child, giving us our 4th niece. My main goal for 2015 is to focus on finances, family, and travel. And taking a ton of pictures! Oh and also my health, geez I'm so typical!

Elle says.

Elle told me yesterday that you have to love other people and you especially have to love yourself always. Wisedom from a 5 year old. I love it.

These Are The Days

I love my life, right now at the age of 27, I am so happily married. A newly wed still so in love with this person who I just promised to spend my life with. We love our little family with our two little fur babies. I love waking up to these little goons everyday. They give me so much joy. My nieces are honestly my greatest source of joy. Everything they say and do is pure magic. I love that they love spending time with us. I want them to always know how much they have added to my life. They are my three rays of sunshine, I am so unbelievably grateful for each of these precious little souls. They make me want to dive into motherhood. I hope I am blessed with a child as sweet, silly, and smart as these three are. When life can seem so bleak and hopeless, I can't help but feel like I am one of the lucky ones. I've had so much joy and love within my years already. I have a house to call my home and lots of people to love and lots of people that I'd like to help. Life is so short, I think about this all the time. I want to make mine count.

My Wedding

I loved my wedding. I really stressed over whether or not I would be able to enjoy it all but I had a blast. It was just so damn hard to wrap my head around the fact that it was my wedding. MY wedding, I've been to SO many weddings, and this one was mine? What? It went by in the blink of an eye but to me it was imperfect perfection. Some memories I never wanna forgot.

Elle gave me the biggest, longest hug that morning. After that she put her arms behind her back and told me it meant that she loved me "a kajillion" It was easily one of my favorite moments ever, so sweet.

Getting ready with my girls was such a great experience as well. My older sister and matron of honor surprized me with a really cute heart shaped ring dish that reads "Mrs. & Mr." on it, she also bought me my earrings and bracelet and they were perfect. And she made me a chocolate chip pancake, she's awesome. Ryan also surprised with a gift, an engraved photo album that read "The Capranicas" and was full of photos of us. I absolutely loved it. My bridesmaids and I  all sang and danced and even did a chinese fire drill on the way to meet the photographers in my sister's van (we were about 40 mintutes late to meet them! whoops!) They all kept me calm and happy and it was wonderful.

Our first look felt like a dream. I can't even believe it was real life. I was lead by the photographers that I had just met two seconds earlier down a grassy path where my groom had his back turned, waiting patiently. I came up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder, and as soon as he turned around the look on his face was beyond what I could have even imagined. He just kept saying "Oh my God" and looking at me with so damn much love. We both cried and held each other. Trying to explain it is hard, it really was one of the best moments of my life. So much love.

Before the ceremony I was back in an office type room waiting till it was ceremony time. My bridesmads again continued to be awesome and kept the fun going. We were dancing and singing and popping bottles of champaigne. Right before leaving the room to go out to the ceremony we sang, "All About That Bass" together. Lyla also had a funny moment, while we were getting ready to line up she yelled "It is time to do this!" So silly, so fun, I loved it so.


The ceremony was short and sweet and exactly what we wanted. I had tears streaming down my face as my Dad walked me down the aisle. Seeing Ryan at the end was an amazing feeling, I kept thinking, "He's waiting for me! I'm his person and he's mine and we are in this together". Having someone waiting for you at the end of the aisle, someone who loves you so much, someone that you consider a kind, wonderful, hilarious, caring, and just awesome person is beyond amazing. Ryan's vows absolutely knocked me on my ass. I mean, damn, those words he spoke were just simply music to my ears. I couldn't help but cry. I really was truly blown away. Then we got to kiss and walk down the aisle together, holding hands but now as family.

Then came the reception. The Bridal party was announced all wrong but I was all whatever at that point. They all walked out to "Marry You" by Bruno Mars. Then Ryan and I walked in as a married couple to "You Make My Dreams Come True" by Hall & Oates. As soon as we all got up to the front of the room, our wedding party surrounded us in a dance circle which was such a fun little memory to have.

We all had a blast dancing, my Grandmother Ruth again stole the title of "Dancing Queen" as she usually does at all wedding receptions. I also can't not metion that a dance battle broke out between my cousin's 8 year old , Grace and Ryan's friend, Ben. It was hilarious and so fun to watch and of course Gracie won! I will also never forgot all the kids bouncing around, dancing, eating cupcakes, jumping in the photobooth. It was so fun to be surrouned by friends and family for the evening. Ryan and I danced our first dance to "When the Right One Comes Along" by Clare Bowen and Sam Palladio. To me that song is magic, beautiful and simple just like love should be. I was just so thankful and trying to take it all in, which was impossible. I wish I could live it all over again.

A Positive Outlook

It's so hard to keep a positive outlook. I've felt that struggle for most of my life and with all the terrible things going on in the world currently, it's getting harder to be optomistic. I never, ever want to be a negative or pessimistic type of person. I want to be that person that always has a smile on her face, making someone's day a little brighter. I love people who do this for me, there are certain peoplpe in my life even ones I don't know that well that have such a warmth and kindness to them. This type of person can instantly make you feel a little brighter, it's contagious. Sometimes I am this person and sometimes I am not. I think the most important thing in life is kindess, at the end of my life I want to know that I was atleast a nice, decent person who thought of others. Think about how many times your day has been made by something so trival as a smile from a stranger. 

Becoming a mother is a subject that has been on my mind more seriously as of late. Sometimes I have that attitude of "why would I bring a child into this awful world". That's when I stop and think about my own life. I am so incredibly happy to be alive and to have been given this life. I have had a lot of low points in my 27 years, but they have been a part of molding the person I am. My story is unique and it is my own, it's the one thing that truly belongs to just me. For every moment I haven't enjoyed there has been atleast a thousand more wonderful, joyous moments. Time with family, friends, falling in love, getting to watch my nieces grow up. My life has been pretty damn amazing when I really sit back and take a hard look. I want to experience motherhood, I know it will be the hardest job I ever have in life but I want it. I want to have the joys of being a parent and having that connection like no other. I want there to be a person out there that's half me and half Ryan. I want to guide someone through this life in hopes they will experience the joys I have.

Thinking about all of the people who have impacted my life, I can say I have met a lot of interesting people. From aquantances to co workers to friends who have come and gone. It's already been quite a ride for 27. It makes me excited to see what the future holds for me. I'm happy to say I'll never stop trying to be that optomist.

Currently

I think these are always fun!



Making:
 plans to travel to Miami for a wedding next month, plans to go to Chicago for a concert in Sept, and preparing for my wedding and honeymoon in Oct!!

Cooking:
 A ton on the grill!! My favorite!

Drinking:
 Starbucks unsweetened black tea!

Reading:
 Lots of great blog posts.

Wanting:
 to reach out to more people who suffer from depression and anxiety like me. It helps to know that you are not alone.

Looking:
 at my computer, I'm at work!

Playing:
 country radio

Wasting:
 food at home, need to meal plan a little better.

Sewing:
 oh god. Nothing!

Wishing:
 I could stop being so hard on myself sometimes.

Enjoying:
 soul searching and watching the Big Band Theory :)

Waiting:
 for weekend time!

Liking:
 planning for more travel

Wondering:
 what life will look like this time next year.

Loving: that I am learning to love myself more

Hoping:
 that I won't turn into a huge stressball as my wedding gets closer and closer.

Marveling:
 at how amazing life can be.

Needing:
 some more fresh air and exercise

Smelling:
 nothing at the moment

Wearing:
 jeans, nice shirt, and flips.

Following:
 lots of great blogs

Noticing:
 how people can change your spirit.

Feeling:
 better than yesterday.

Opening:
 emails?

 

time and effort

Sometimes I feel like I have wasted most of my life. I feel like I could have done so much more with my time and I could have put so much more effort into sooooo many different things. I guess I just need to remind myself that I am only 26 and I have a lot more time and more effort to give! I guess another thought I've been mulling over is what will define my life? Money? Success? Family? Motherhood? I guess I'm still just trying to figure out what exactly I want. I know I want to travel, I know I want to write and read more. I know I want to become a mother eventually. I know I want to keep close ties with my family. I know I want to make people happy! I know I want to be more organized and more in shape. So why is it so hard for me to just "man" up and get a move on it! While I am still young and alive.

My word

I think I've figured out my word for 2014. Freedom. Freedom to be myself, not afraid of what others think, not afraid to truly live. I know I can do it, too!

New Years

New Years Goals

I love writing down goals because I feel like I'm more likely to keep them if I do. Plus they are fun to look back on after the year is over.

Goals:
Eat more real foods
Take another yoga class
Make it to the gym more often
Learn to cook some more complicated things
Dress a little more put together
Make new friends while staying in touch with the old
Get a new camera
Take more pictures
Plan more trips
Spend lots of time with family
Foster a dog
Work to make my wedding amazing
Enjoy and document the wedding and the honeymoon
Work on making my home a better place
Look at mission trips
Save money
Go to Italian American Day again
Start running again
Do everything I can to be successful in my TS business
Enjoy life


That's all I think of now. The wedding will obviously take up a lot of my time and energy and I can't wait to marry Ryan. I know it'll be amazing even if it's not perfect! I'm really looking forward to this year!!